beholdher.life the summer of self care challenge check in and weekly updates week 5 august 6 2020

Blog No. 5 – We All Start Somewhere – A Mother’s Introduction to Self-Care

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I don’t really remember if I thought about self-care until I became a Mother. Understandably so, as I was on my own and responsible to no other living being, save for my cats.

Upon joining the ranks of motherhood – the You-sleep-when-they-sleep Gang, the Make-sure-you’re-still-getting-out-there Club – the unsolicited advice givers came out in full force. My understanding of self-care was to complete a list of things that mothers should do; attend play groups and library read-alongs, frequent provincial resource facilities and their mother groups, and baby groups, engage and socialize to help your baby grow. In general, the list for all good mothers to follow, adhere to and exist within.

That good list is, seemingly, in place to encourage wellness for both the mother and the baby, but does it?

What if, like me, you live with anxiety and depression?

What if, like me, your anxiety increased to unprecedented levels after having the baby?

What if, like me, you accepted the self-induced mental abuse rather than experience the discomfort and suffocation of public gatherings?

What if, like me, dread, heightened heart rates, sweaty palms and accelerated breathing rates measured high and your own negative self-talk reinforced the reasons why you are failing your child, and at motherhood?

What if, like me, you started to take matters into your own hands, satisfying your needs and the needs of your child in a way that supported your journey and the personal growth that is to come out of it?

What if? …

The Good Motherhood is not one of should this or should that. The shoulds have only ever brought me anxiety, shame and guilt. When Self-Care becomes something that you must do or you have failed,  the wrong message has been sent; to your brain and your children, who are always watching and learning how to be human.

Yes, you need to make yourself a priority.

Yes, you need to make time for yourself and your Self-Care practice.

beholdher.life The Summer of Self-Care Challenge five myths to self care

I challenge you to incorporate Self-Care into your routine in response to you internal needs.

Work Self-Care into you routine as it relates to your schedule and your budget.

Ensure that you are inviting good and healthy practices into your Self-Care regime. For example, it is OK to slow down and take a day to yourself but the effectiveness of doing this changes if you have tendencies to use this type of Self-Care as an excuse to not do something. Avoidance and procrastination could be my self-title book however, I recognize these practices as merely an act of self destructive behaviour. Call it self-sabotage, call it whatever you like. Self-Care requires a commitment to self and the practice. Be mindful, note the benefits, practice gratitude. When you are committed you will begin to notice the affect. If you happen to misuse the practice you will be no further ahead and likely riddled with the very feelings you are trying to rise above.

14 thoughts on “Blog No. 5 – We All Start Somewhere – A Mother’s Introduction to Self-Care”

    1. Good day, Anika – I think debunking the myths is one of the quickest ways to ensure you get the self-care that you require. Thanks for sharing and reading, I really appreciate it. Best to you.

  1. I really like this. I’m terrible at self care!! Therefore, I always feel drained and sometimes resentful towards my family.

    I just posted my July goals, and I have some about healthy eating and exercise. It’s my baby step towards caring for myself AND being accountable for it.

    1. Thank you for the kind words, RachelRoy. The reason I started this challenge is because I too am terrible at self-care. I think your approach of starting out by taking baby steps is a smart one and accountability is key. Best of everything for you! I appreciate you stopping by.

      1. Thank you, Vybav! Self care is so important and I am determined to get better at it! Thanks for your lovely compliments and for dropping in for a read. I appreciate it.

  2. It’s great to read about self-care from the perspective of a mother, and I’m so happy you’ve gotten over this idea it’s ‘selfish’.
    Very motivating for all the mothers out there who second guess self care being only for those without children!

    1. Thanks, Sarah! Guilt is such a waste of time and energy and yet it lures me in every time! Thanks for stopping by the website and for taking the time to comment. I appreciate it!

      1. I love this Christy! I’ve worked with so many mother’s that never took the time to attend to their own physical and mental health. Sooner rather than later – this always catches up with them! I love the myths that you addressed. There are so many out there surrounding self-care. Thanks for setting them straight!

        1. HI Clarissa, thank you! It is sometimes a battle to address the self-care that I require but I always feel worse when I let myself slack. I think it’s very important to demystify the myths of self-care and make it accessible for all. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment. I appreciate it.
          ~Christy

  3. Hey Christy,
    I think you hit on a great point with our children always watching us and “learning how to be human”. They should see us investing in ourselves so that they will have that ingrained early. Hopefully it won’t be as hard for them to start up self-care as it for some of us.
    Loved the article!

    1. Hi Seth. Thanks for the kind words. I think you’re right about me being right..😉haha!…self-care is important to engage in and for our children to witness. They do as we do. Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to comment. I appreciate it.
      ~Christy

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